Sooooooo much for keeping up the blog after 30 days. What can I say? Life happens. Work and school are driving me absolutely bonkers. Legitimately–to the point of fits of laughter and/or crying when I think about anything for too long. You know what would have helped? Sticking with paleo and having the energy to tackle each day. Or just venting to the anonymous blogosphere. Ooo idea!
I won’t say I fell completely off the wagon since my 30 days were up. I kind of had one leg in for a bit, and then just my body being dragged behind the wagon while I held on with one toe. I never gave up completely, though. I mean, every time I did something bad, I knew I was cheating and I felt like crap after. Things that would not have happened had I not started this whole paleo business. It was altogether pretty frustrating, I must say. Well, another frustrating thing to add to my pile of frustrating things. Like how I’ve been able to maybe do crossfit once a week since school started. Because I have school class when I used to go to class class. Falling off the fitness wagon was probably even worse than the paleo. If you’re like me, it seems like the pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of a functional, healthy, life plan. And with cf and paleo, I felt like I had found that. Being forced out of a happiness plan made me very unhappy. And then I tried silly things like running at 6am. Poor decision. Was so tired one morning of one of my attempts that I got 1.5 miles away from my apartment (far for me ok geez) and then wiped out in front of a McDonald’s and couldn’t even go to crossfit if I wanted to because I ripped up my hands. Also made showering and general living hard for a week or two while those healed. What a way to kick me when I’m down, life.
Enough complaining, at least for now. Some pretty great things happened recently amidst my mental breakdowns (Yes plural. Averaging 1 per week. Usually Thursdays), like I thought I was gonna die the week of midterms, but ended up somehow getting A’s? Still skeptical. Also, work has been nuts since one of our team members left, and I’ve been doing his job too (a bit above my pay grade you might say) and I think people might be (fingers crossed) making moves to make that more permanent. I also rearranged my apartment last weekend and things like that make me exceedingly happy. Also the trip to Ikea and Target. God, those are happy places. Even though I’m broke. Another reason paleo has been so hard! Bet you didn’t think I’d get back to that either.
Wow, this has been very therapeutic for me. Thanks a heap! But back to the reason I’m posting again… I am determined to get back on that wagon and strap myself in. As if my life depends on it. Because it kind of does. I am a bit of a control freak, so while I can’t control a whole lot of the rest of my life right now, I will make myself do the strict paleo thing again for a while. No goal determined yet, but I should probably set one. Maybe another 30 days? Maybe more? Either way, accountability starts now!
P.S. I also broke down and joined the twitterverse in my hiatus. (Because I have so much extra time and energy right?). @amandamandaP!